As a Black Man Should I Be Terrified of Dating a White Woman After Seeing Jordan Peele’s “Get Out?”

Image by giphy.com

By Rod Snow 

This face is the personification of a black man who just met black Jesus. After all, the Bible says fear of God is the beginning of knowledge, right? I guess after meeting Jesus, he was sent back to spread the word that Jesus is amazingly white. I think the movie “Get Out” nailed it on the head. As a Black male, leaving the movie theater after watching Jordan Peele’s hit horror film “Get Out”, the only thought in my mind was, “Now see, that’s exactly why I ain’t never dated a white girl.” In the real world, to see a Black man look like the image above after meeting his girlfriend’s parents means that he just met 2 fallen angels from Hades. Because if you didn’t know, these fallen angels don’t play. They’re 500 times more evil than the Hell’s Angels. If you come into contact with a fallen angel because you’re dating a white woman, dump her now because these bad angels will have you doing shit like this:

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And JUST when I was about to consider asking this white girl at my job for her phone number this racist ass movie shut that shit down (tongue-in-cheek)

The opening scene starts with a kidnapping of a Black male walking in a white neighborhood, very reminiscent of Blacks being jacked from Africa but different from when Ice Cube jacked for beats back in the early 90’s era of Hip Hop. There were so many underlying jewels and symbolisms that were dropped in this film that I absolutely must watch this a second time. I can’t wait to go to the laundromat so the Asian lady with the big teeth and bootleg DVD’s can sell me a copy.

When Chris, the main character Black dude and Rose, his white crazy girlfriend arrive at her parent’s house and he meets her parents and brother I immediately had an identity for each of them; the father being the slave master, the mother as the slave master’s wife and the brother as the plantation overseer. The only thing the brother was missing was the horse to ride around on but his attitude and demeanor was steed enough. The introduction of Walter and Georgina, the servants, were weird. As soon as I saw them I said, “These ain’t nothin’ but slaves with dental insurance.” Damn they have some good teeth. When Walter was running full speed at night and hit a ninety-degree angle, he looked like a young O.J. Simpson in a Hertz commercial. I knew trouble was coming.

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And Roses’ mother was a trip! That tea cup hypnotism was nothing but a metaphor for the slave masta’s whip. As I was enjoying the cleverness of the film through my own interpretation I was also experiencing the uneasiness of how certain scenes made me feel. Like when the brother that was kidnapped in the beginning but then later resurfaced in the film a different person in character whose identity was lost inside of him and being toted around mentally by his white master with invisible chains and shackles. This is exactly what’s happening to Ben Carson.

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So much of the movie felt like real life. How else can you explain the number of Black children who are autistic.

Another scene that stood out to me was when Chris planned his escape and picked the cotton from the chair. He used a small piece of slave labor and deafened himself from the brainwashing of his suppressor, freed himself and turned into Nate Parker!

However, we still had that moment when you had to shout out at Chris’ Black ass to, “RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!”  It was a revelation to me that Black people (no matter how much they swear up and down) will act just as scared and clumsy as white people do in most horror movies. 

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Like this white girl in this image above, the Black guy in “Get Out” had no idea what was about to happen to him. If it were me, after the first time I heard a voice say “get out”, I would’ve been out of there instantly.

Honestly, originally I thought the movie was going to be about a Black man who tries to fit in with his white girlfriends parents by eating their runny eggs to please them. Instead the movie is a subliminal message about reassessing all your relationships with white people especially if they are holding a tea cup. 

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And if you are in a relationship…

GET THE HELL OUT!!!

Because if you don’t, 5 months after leaving your white girlfriend’s parent’s house, you might start living life and doing shit like this

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Nah but for real. What I find most interesting is how a movie like this can be created by someone like Jordan Peele, who is married to a white woman and a product of a biracial relationship. People like myself often assume that interracial coupled people are not woke. But damn this movie proves that theory wrong. Real talk, you have to be pretty damn WOKE to make this kind of movie. However, as a Black man who has never dated a white woman, the irony of this film woke ME up so much that I really am terrified to give anything but Black love a chance. Is that the message Peele wanted me to walk away with? Or is this just a sick joke he’s playing on guys like me so that he can have more white women for himself? Well that’s just misogynistic.

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