Who Knew That Dash being Crass Would Land In A Crash?

(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Stacy Dash, 90s teen icon and current unemployed, washed-up has-been, has made waves all over the US with her shocking and controversial opinions. The recent announcement that Fox wouldn’t be renewing her contract brought a wave of celebratory tweets, though admittedly most of that probably came from people who never actually watch Fox anyway. Nonetheless, it’s enough of an excuse for us to take a look back at the former actress’s greatest hits. This parallel universe version of Jada Pinkett-Smith isn’t very likely to have any more after all.

Black History Month
Though most Americans understand the need for a month dedicated to African-American history, Stacy can’t seem to get her head around it. She thinks BHM causes segregation and she argues that if there is a black history month then why isn’t there a white history month too? What part of colonization, slavery, and smaller penises needs celebration?

She probably hasn’t figured out that the history taught in school IS white history, but we guess maybe she can take solace in knowing that BHM is on the shortest month of the year. The majority of the Fox News audience are white, with only 1% being Black, so it’s a shame that she didn’t use her platform to educate her viewers about diversity, instead telling them that BET shouldn’t exist, though she had previously worked with them herself.

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Paula Dean Support

If Paula Dean’s irritating accent isn’t reason enough not to watch her tired cooking show, then how about her being a racist? Not for Dash. She came to Paula’s aid on twitter, after allegations surfaced that Paula used the N word toward her own staff. Stacy reportedly even lets her daughter watch the diabetes-inducing show. Is Paula sending out bread baskets to African-American celebrities in a desperate attempt to score some brownie points or does Stacy really support her?

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The 2016 Oscars

Dash’s cameo on stage at the Oscars got off to on an awkward start when Chris Rock introduced her as the “new director of the academy’s minority outreach program”, and then ended even more awkwardly a few moments later when she wished everyone a happy Black History Month, before promptly disappearing off stage. Nobody laughed. Nobody clapped. Well, maybe when she left the stage. Like a sombrero-wearing Trump in a Mexican Restaurant, it was a baffling case of wrong place, wrong time.

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On Obama

Fox’s ultra-conservative contributors never have anything nice to say about Obama, but Dash apparently just couldn’t contain her frustration with the former president. Her on-air comment that she feels “…like he could give a shit” earned her a two week suspension from the family-friendly network. Dash wasn’t the least bit remorseful though. She jumped on twitter soon after to let the world know that she would “gladly accept the consequences”. This seemed out of character because this was her only job, however anyone being a badass toward Fox deserves some credit.

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It’s not quite clear how Fox News manages to attract any viewers in the first place, but Stacy’s departure probably won’t help. Her opinionated and erratic point of view was at least mildly entertaining after all. So what poorly thought out attempt for the limelight will crass Dash make next? Will it be an affair with Trump, or perhaps the defacement of a Martin Luther King statue? Or maybe she’ll just go all out and shoot up a lifeboat full of refugee orphans. Only time will tell, but whatever it is, We’re sure it will be as entertaining as ever. #dontgettickled

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