By Dale St. Marthe
Folks around the web stay tickling us. Incase you missed it…
1. DRAKE’S NEW PLAYLIST
You knew this would be here. At least one of the thousands of Drake memes was going to make an appearance here.
— tesfaye 🌺 (@israxm) March 18, 2017
Even if you were living under a rock, no, a thousand rocks- even if you were buried underground, Drake’s new playlist entitled More Life would have burrowed its way into your ears.
Drake has a history of infusing different cultures into his music; some would say stealing which is up for debate. However, the Toronto rapper features UK’s hardest hitting Grime artists on his newest work, and as a result has picked up a few slang words.
What’s hilarious about the first image is that, if you have been to at least one Caribbean party, you would have heard the words “gyal,” “ting,” “mandem,” in all sorts of configurations, coupled with extremely explicit descriptions of sex. Vybz Kartel, Popcaan, Giggs, Skepta, all different artists in slightly different genres- share the same Caribbean culture and use much of the same slang if you listen. That is if you can get past the general chaotic air and euphoric revelry of a Caribbean basement bash. You can imagine someone who hasn’t been acclimated to Black culture, hearing something as wonderful as Drake’s questionable pronunciation and Noah 40’s masterful production, and opening many tabs on their phones looking on Urban Dictionary, not even realizing “a Skepta” is a person, and only being left with more questions. You know who they are, especially us Urban Chameleons who have walked between white corporate America and durag- “I make waves in”- America. “Oh, you’re listening to THAT music?”
2. APPLE MAKES A PHONE TO GO WITH MY JORDANS?
A white-walled room. Apple’s design staff sits on glossy chairs around a table. One is speaking enthusiastically, holding a red square with metal tongs.
“Look team, this isn’t just a red iPhone…this is a special iodized red.”
“Great job man it looks good. We’ll go and tell productions to paint the entire-“
“No just the back.”
“Uhm…just the back? What about the front?”
“All white, everyone knows red and white go together, duh.”
You have to admit though, the back of the redesigned iPhone almost rivals the beautiful “rose gold” color variation. Set this baby down on your desk, face down of course, and the metallic matte red will attract gang members and fraternity hype men predisposed to the color red.
If you turn it around however, you got a different story. Now you have a phone with a janky color combo. For a company that sells on aesthetic, I bet somebody who doesn’t even match their clothes could have thought of a better color to put on the front. But, the partnership with Project Red means that they will be helping the initiative to fight AIDS worldwide. So that might give it some excuse for its appearance.
— Benjamin Geskin (@VenyaGeskin1) March 21, 2017
Check this out though! It looks so smooth with the black front. This would go perfectly with my Jordan Bred 11s.
3. THE ADVENTURES OF WHITE WASHING CONTINUES…
Genghis Khan’t stand all these white men in his movies anymore.
When they say you need more experience vs. who they hire for the job pic.twitter.com/44o21938TP
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) March 21, 2017
The guy on the right looks drunk. It looks like he just took his shirt off to fight someone who made fun of his smart car at a bar. He would look lost in a legitimate Asian restaurant let alone an Asian society.
Many comic fans are reasonably disgruntled by the casting for a TV adaptation of the comic Iron Fist. Though it is important to note the canon race for the main character Danny Rand is Caucasian.
What are fans mad about then? There are too many white people in Hollywood, plain and simple. Also, the story of a white man entering a foreign land and becoming the strongest most capable person there is played out and gross. The character Danny Rand is transported to a mystic land, trained by two Asian monks, earns the power of the Iron fist, and then teams up with Luke Cage to take down criminals in New York’s grimy underbelly. Nothing important about the story would change if Danny Rand was Asian. Which, is the reason fans have actually petitioned Marvel Studios, asking that an Asian American actor be cast as Iron Fist.
4. An Urban Chameleon Moment in America Worth Noting
Say it wide, say it loud! I’m comfy and I’m proud!
Do you know why I like to wear a hoody? Because it’s gatdamn comfortable, and I got some heavy shit on my mind. It won’t detract from my work performance I promise, or make me any more dangerous than I already am as a Black man.
Lakeith Stanfield, an actor known most recently for his role in the movie Get Out, is shown in this picture in what I refer to as “The Dichotomy of a Proletariat Minority in corporate America” also known as being an Urban Chameleon.
Now, don’t get me wrong, professionalism at work is a very good thing to exhibit. This image implies more though. The creator of the image that’s circulating was smart to use this specific character, because this character turned out to be a sort of “super Uncle Tom.” He couldn’t even dap right! If you didn’t see the movie, the deeper meaning would still be apparent to anybody who has had to change not only their outward appearance, but their mannerisms and identity in order to conform to corporate America.
Hearing a close friend go from a comfortable and colorful conversational vernacular, to that stiff European amalgamation of a vernacular, just to seem “proper” to a white interviewer is always disheartening. It’s that transition in their double consciousness, an Urban Chameleon changing colors because it has to, not because it wants to, is what is so relatable about this image.
5. When Your White Friends Feel Cool
Wow my white professor just gave me an A+…they’re invited to the cookout.
white person: * has an ounce of rhythm and does bare minimum*
yall: OMG HE INVITED TO THE COOKOUT, GIVE HIM A PLATE
— LORD OF THE AUX CORD (@pradahungry) March 20, 2017
This happens way too much on social media.
A popular white person would say something smart. Something equivalent to “racism…bad thing…no good” and a bunch of Black Twitter users would praise them for their bravery and sacrifice for the betterment of Black lives in America.
This “Cookout” thing mentioned needs barely any explanation. All you need to know is that there is macaroni pie and jerk chicken made by a Black person. The metaphorical safe and intimate atmosphere surrounding the food is what these white people are being invited to. To be honorary Blacks so to speak.
Nobody needs kudos for being rational. Like for real, what is you doin.
6. Trump’s Approval Ratings
On this week’s episode of “The Utter Disaster America Has Become…”
Milo Yiannopoulos got fired. Tomi Lahren got suspended. Trump is at 37% disapproval. Your face when you realize they did it to themselves. pic.twitter.com/BFmepkg7nX
— B.R.B. DuBois (@BRashadBeal) March 20, 2017
Ah yes, that baby looks like me smiling at my phone on the toilet.
The calmness in their face, a subtle “that’s what you get” under a red beanie. Black Twitter loves this baby, and in this instance the face is so relatable when in reaction to the gifts fate has dealt America’s most controversial.
The Yiannopoulos situation happened a while ago. However, Tomi Lahren did get suspended and Trump has become more unpopular this past week. The chickens are approaching the roost; I don’t think they’ve received all their comeuppance yet.
Trump’s approval rating is at a historic low at a 37% approval rate. This was bound to happen, it might only be a surprise to his supporters, but nobody can hold faith in this guy for long. This backlash might have come when he threatened Obamacare and funding for public services like Meals on Wheels, which a lot of his supporters rely on.
Why did Ms. Lahren get suspended though? Well, she had been raising tensions at The Blaze because of her inflammatory rhetoric. The situation peaked when she admitted to being pro-choice on The View saying “I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government but I think the government should decide what women do with their bodies.”
This finally tipped the scales despite all the other ignorant things she’s said before. Calling your conservative co-workers hypocrites would piss them off more than anything else.
Yall: “Tomi Lahren got fired 😱”
— K (@Pass_da_chicken) March 20, 2017
You tell em’ grandma!